I began running the Couch to 5k while on a small dose of heavy anti-psychotic medication. I found it a way that I could feel a sense of achievement in my day and feel connected to nature. My dad has always been interested in nature, and when I was in hospital, we would walk around the grounds, and my dad would name the new flowers growing in spring. This, of course, has been a treasured memory which I would take into my adult years. When I was a student during the COVID-19 pandemic, I started doing some exercises that could motivate me to be outside in nature more often. Living next to Bute Park allowed me to explore my love of running and the outdoors, and I completed the Couch to 5k in three consecutive summers but never felt that I could go further due to my mental health. More recently, I got taken off my medication and had a relapse – they had taken me off the medication too soon due to high prolactin levels and with only 3 months to recover. I told the community mental health team that I would like to continue with my running, but when I went out, I heard voices criticising me and was consumed by panic.
As I went on a new medication which was not so strong, I became more aware of my feelings and thoughts, and I decided to aim higher and try to run further. I signed up for a 10k run, and due to a regular running habit, I found it very comfortable in the actual event, so I signed up for the Cardiff Half Marathon in October.
I found that I can mindfully feel my emotions and the movement helps me to focus on letting go of negative thoughts which may arise. Sitting still feels impossible in these times when my mind can be corrupted by negative thoughts. Taking part in running has allowed me to feel normal, and I’ve slowly added more to my weekly routine, such as taking part in arts courses like pottery class and glass fusing, and this gave me the confidence to apply to become a Time to Change Wales Champion. I am still yet to engage fully in the programme after the induction, but I intend to start small, volunteering on exhibition stands and getting to know others who have been through similar experiences.
The reason I was so determined with my running was because of learning about how running is similar to life – you stay resilient during the ups and downs of life and just keep moving. Bad feelings change to good, good times to bad, etc. I found once I had a steady routine, I was able to do more things in my life, and this was due to reading about ‘habit stacking’, the notion that you can put two activities together, and it can make it easier to complete both e.g. if completing a chore gets followed by a treat.
Since taking part in running, I have been doing things recommended to deal with my mental health, such as counselling, volunteering, keeping fit and reaching out for help in the community. These have all helped massively. I think that doing the recommended things, even if they don’t feel good at first, can lead to a good recovery if you stick to them. I still suffer from hearing voices when I am stressed, but keeping fit gives me the happy chemicals to feel solid enough to deal with what life throws at me and, therefore, can take my time with my growth journey. I look forward to continuing my growth journey as a Time to Change Wales Champion, as I've always been passionate about advocating for mental health awareness. I'm eager to use my voice to uplift others on their own journeys and share the positive impact we can make together.
